Two-part series (1): Strip Clubs



Communication is key to reaching a mutual understanding.
Photo taken by me.


A two-part series will be dedicated to observing conversation between a couple, Craig and Elaine. The topics to be discussed deal with relationship maintenance and satisfaction, particularly on two topics that can have great affect on how the relationship functions: strip clubs and sexual fantasies.

Launching off the two-part series is the issue of strip clubs.

There are many activities couples can enjoy together: enjoying the outdoors, going to the movies, cooking, traveling and site-seeing. But what about going to the strip clubs (or as they call ‘em: gentlemen’s clubs)?

Typically strip clubs are where men can enjoy watching women dance and strip for a price. But now it’s not just men frequenting the clubs; it is common for couples to show up together for a night out. While some men and women enjoy it, others do not. Neglecting to reach a mutual understanding and respecting relationship boundaries can be detrimental to a relationship.

In other words, frequenting hot spots like strip clubs can drive a damaging wedge into a relationship if both individuals do not see eye to eye on whether the act is OK.

Cosmo has a special section for their “guy guru” to answer readers’ most pressing sex and love questions. Not only can readers receive answers to their sometimes confusing, embarrassing, desperate and make-or-break questions, they actually receive input from a male who can provide a different and valuable perspective. Hearing these things from a man can help women see that there are possibilities other than the female way.

A female reader submitted, “My boyfriend wants us to go to a strip club together because he thinks it’ll be fun and sexy. My friends think it’s a bad idea. What are your thoughts on it?”

His answer was simple: Know that you’re dealing with lots of NUDE women with hot bodies on stage and/or in the laps and faces of male customers. Know that your man will be one of the many males who will be burning wads of cash (he says it’s guaranteed). Know what kind of woman you are and your level of tolerance for said scenes. If you can’t handle it, don’t go. If you think it might spice up the relationship, try it.

What he failed to mention was how to go about dealing with a man who wants to go even if she doesn’t want to try. That is still a mystery.

 

An article titled, “Do you care if your man visits strip clubs?” discusses where to draw the line and how honesty can solve the problem.

Relationship maintenance can be a difficult feat when it clothes are off, even if it’s some stripper at some club. So what happens when couples don’t see eye to eye? Is the relationship doomed or can there be compromise?


For women who are iffy about joining their man or suspicious, it might help to read up on “Should girlfriends be jealous of strippers?” which reads, “…men are usually fine with taking their lady along. If not, that’s a definite red flag because if he has nothing to hide then it shouldn’t be a big problem.”


Although this couple’s views do not reflect those of other individuals or couples, they add valuable input to understanding how these particular individuals experimented and developed an understanding that works for them. 

Craig:                         

How do you feel about strip clubs?
I got a lap dance when I was 18 from Jiggles in Tualatin, Oreg. But still, going to a strip club is a waste of money because it’s ultimately not that hard to get a girlfriend and you can do it for free. Even if you’re single, go out, take a girl for dinner and see if you get laid.

What do you think motivates people to go?
Men are simple: They like boobs.

What if significant others don’t know or approve?
For people in relationships, it’s a little different. From the guys that I know, the wives know about their husbands going and the wives go with their husbands. If significant other is into it, both people should go and it’ll be OK. If not, then you have to ask whether it’s going to damage the relationship.

Can any good come from going to strip clubs?
Nothing good can come from strip clubs except for the strippers making money.

 

Elaine:

How do you feel about strip clubs?
They’re disgusting. Some women there don’t even have boobs or ass. When the women dance they don’t even look at the men. They’re too busy looking at themselves in the mirrors. Their job is to sell sex and to make men feel like they are madly in love with them… to make that man feel like she’s all for him. I would want his money, so I’d sell it. I’ve been once or twice and it does not make me feel good at all so I never want to go in one again. You want to look at someone else naked, so if I’m not enough then f*** off.

Are there costs to going to strip clubs?
Men are stupid. They’re willing to throw away their lives and what they have for a show. You always want what you can’t have because it’s better.

Does it matter if the man is single or committed?
Oh, well if they’re single, do it… unless you’re committed. If you’re single, I totally support you.

So only committed people should stay away?
Yes. They’re looking for something. Eventually they’re going to get what they came for. They look, they find, they pounce. They’re looking for that perfect sex kitten and can’t find it in their wives, obviously. Finally they find it and they’re going to try to take her home and mess up their lives.

Can any good come from going to strip clubs?
No. It’s a waste of money and lives.

Ultimately, we see that Craig and Elaine lucked out with having similar feelings about strip clubs, which can reduces stress and fights about whether one or the other can frequent strip clubs. Other couples and individuals who feel differently may find that finding a compromise is harder than it seems.


No matter the circumstances, it seems like communication is the key to achieving an understanding of one’s partner’s feelings. From there on, you both can tackle the Strip Club Beast together and figure out a compromise that works for both of you.

Good luck.

How do you think strip clubs can affect a relationship? Would it affect yours?